Fetishism is a sexual preference disorder in which patients repeatedly collect objects that come into direct physical contact with the opposite sex and rely on them for sexual stimulation or satisfaction.
Similar to the previous news “buy used silk stockings socks, used panties, used high heels shoes, used bras, stockings that smell” is all fetish behavior. You may think that fetishism is natural? In fact, fetishism is not something that is engraved in the genetic stand but is more formed due to the influence of the acquired environment.
As well, there are still some misunderstandings about fetishism.
Today, let’s talk to you, why do you have a fetish?
01. Links to childhood encounters
Most fetishes originate from childhood, when we did not establish the correct knowledge of sexual relations, it has been twisted by other perceptions and impressions about sex.
For example, sexual arousal and a certain object wrongly create a link that leads to a conditioned reflex. It may be formed many times repeatedly, or it may happen by chance and accident.
For example, the boy accidentally touched a wig set during his first DIY session. Since then, the wig set or even hair will be equated with sexual pleasure.
Every time he sees a wig set or hair, it will evoke pleasure at that time. These items then become the items of his sexual obsession and there is no substitute for them.
02. Abnormal psychosexual development
Psychologist Sigmund Freund believes that attributing male fetishes to childhood trauma caused by ‘castration anxiety.
Floyd suggests that when a boy is a young child, he may become hostile and fearful of his father due to his “Oedipus complex”, and may even fear that his father will treat him as a rival and threaten his mother, and thus castrate himself.
At this time, young boys will often look for an object to replace their mother’s protective and caring role, such as a blanket.
In the normal course of development, this emotional attachment will gradually transfer to other females as the boy grows older, leading to a normal sexual relationship.
But if the development becomes pathologized, this emotional attachment to objects will continue and thus become a fetish.
There is a similar case in Kohut’s theory of autopsychology.
A male patient was addicted to stealing women’s underwear. During a session with a counselor, he admitted that after the death of his mother at a young age, he used underwear as his “fetish” to replace his mother’s place in his heart.
This is similar to the statement in the FBI’s criminal psychology profile that “the mother-infant relationship of fetish offenders is often so distant at an early age that when they grow up, they are still unable to communicate with women properly and have to steal women’s underwear to satisfy their sexual needs.
Therefore, the strong sexual need for the “object of affection” actually reflects the serious anxiety and anxiety of the absence of family members.
03. Social and cultural influences
Simply put, when you are excited about adolescence, due to the lack of proper sexual knowledge and awareness, coupled with the lack of communication between men and women, so you turn to some objects with symbols of the opposite sex to vent, such as inflatable dolls, or airplane cups.
At first, it may just be accidental, but after several iterations, it is difficult to extricate oneself and become addicted to the habit.
And, compared to a boy/girlfriend who may hurt, betray, or leave them, objects are much more reliable. This is also a way for fetish groups to enhance their sense of control.
The ambiguity of uncertainty becomes a definite reassuring sense of control, and you won’t get hurt yourself.
Perhaps some people will think that “fetish” is the same as “pervert”? In the current climate of public opinion, fetish news is often exposed in a negative way.
Because of this, fetishists unconsciously feel a sense of “shame” and can be psychologically disapproving, suspicious, critical or even disgusted.
They are likely to go to great lengths to satisfy themselves by stealing, voyeurism or surreptitious photography. And either way, after their sexual desires are satisfied, people with fetishes are often crushed by a great sense of morality and thus fall into great self-contradiction. In the long run, it can even lead to anxiety and depression.
In fact, as long as it does not violate basic morals and laws, and does not cause aggression to other people, it is something that belongs to oneself and the initiative is in one’s hands.
Also, fetishism refers to one of the many sexual fetishes.
A 2017 Journal of Sex Research study showed that 1 in 3 Americans have tried at least one of these particular sexual fetishes in their lives.
This means that having a fetish is not the same as being a “pervert”.
The DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) also states that
“Only such sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors (arising from the fetish object) that cause clinically significant distress or result in impairment of social, occupational, or other important functioning constitute a mental disorder.”
In other words, if this sexual obsession does not make itself into pain and anxiety, and life and work are not affected by it, then it is just a personal fetish. It’s the same as exercise and food tastes.
Essentially, it is not much different from your addiction to games, alcohol, food, or other hobbies.
You truly know yourself when you are willing to face and accept your seemingly “incomprehensible” sexual fetishes.